Being an empath can feel like a curse until one masters this innate ability to pick up on other people’s energies. Until this is mastered empaths are often unconsciously influenced by others’ thoughts, feelings desires, and emotional states.
As children many of us discovered that if we were ‘good’ the people around us tended to be calmer and easier to be around. And even though we didn’t really enjoy putting our desires on the back shelf, it was better than trying to deal with the incredibly uncomfortable emotions that arose when we went against what others wanted. This is how many of us ended up becoming people pleasers. It wasn’t so much that we wanted to please others, but rather we wanted to avoid the pain we feel in the presence of others’ emotional upsets.
We learned that we could (sort of) control the emotional reactions of others by acquiescing to their desires. Unfortunately in the process of doing that many of us lost sight of our Center (our sense of Self, our Higher Self) and our desires.
The real solution to this overwhelming discomfort is learning how to manage this empathic ability so that it works for us. I have found 4 key abilities that have helped me, and my clients, better manage the energies.
- Knowing how to move into your Center at will
- Knowing how to discern between your energies and others’ energies
- Knowing how to energetically disconnect from people, places and things
- Release the patterns and beliefs that cause you pain. (Patterns such as: people pleasing, being “nice’, hiding who we really are, acquiescing to other’s desires, disconnection from our own desires, it’s selfish to think of myself first, feeling unworthy, undeserving, etc.)
I have found that #4, releasing patterns and beliefs that cause you pain is the fastest way to achieve 1, 2, 3 & 4. When a pattern is released one easily and naturally becomes more attuned to one’s Beingness (Soul, Spirit, Higher Self). Immediately, people feel more comfortable in their skin. And it becomes not only easier to be here, but actually enjoyable!